Accountability: Holding Yourself and Others Accountable

 

           Do you ever blame others for mishaps or unfortunate circumstances when things go wrong?  Have your expectations in that relationship or on a new job been mediocre? Its time you take a look within yourself but also at the way we allow others to treat you.

    I think I've always heard the word accountability used in movies or when my parents would scold me for lying about something serious. I don't think I had ever really used the word until later in my life when there were actual situations that accounted for the word needing to be used. But what I can admit is the need of myself sometimes wanting to place the blame on others when things don't work out just the way I need them to. This goes for anything that has went wrong in my life, jobs, friendships, relationships, etc. I think placing the blame on others seemed easier than taking the time to fully digest that I may have had some parts in the downfall of beautiful things that have come into my life. I mean if we really think about it who would want to sit there and admit to their wrong doings and take complete ownership for a failed situation? No one. But as I continue to grow and experience different situations in my life, I understand part of being an adult or just a functioning human being to to be accountable for your words and actions. It is completely okay to make a mistake or say something out of pocket if when it all boils down and the statement is brought back up to you, you are ready to take action and be accountable of what was said. Often times we do/say things to others that are hurtful or we don't necessarily mean but instead of owing what was said, we rather retract and apologize. Accountability is not as simple as just apologizing, it means taking ownership of what you have done/ said, understanding where you went wrong and correcting that wrong. While we are learning to be accountable of ourselves, it is also important to hold your friends, family, and your significant other accountable as well. Now this is the hardest thing for me to do because I rather just sit and not make any situations if they aren't necessary, but sometimes you have to be uncomfortable and speak up. What I realize is if you don't create boundaries and let people know where they have overstepped and where they have misspoke then no one is actually holding each other accountable. If something someone has said/ done is bothering you, its okay to speak up and discuss the situation. Let them know where you feel they have went wrong and let them know your feelings are sound and just. While you are speaking up, you are taking accountability and with that you can only hope that the other person is willing to be accountable of their actions as well. This emotion or action is definitely a hard thing to equip yourself with but if you practice with yourself than you can help others be grounded in this as well. So the next time you know you have misspoken, disrespected, or overstepped a boundary sit back and take some time to think "Is what I said affecting them negatively or positively?" "What did I say or where did I go wrong with the situation?" " How can I admit to my faults while also acknowledging their feelings?"